Why does the thought of my wife sucking another man’s cock arouse me so?
For something like seven years, I’ve been fantasising about watching my wife perform fellatio on another man. In that time, my fantasy has provided me with much stimulation and pleasure. When - perhaps inevitably - a little of the piquancy began to fade from my imaginings, I found myself increasingly concerned with the possibility of seeing my reality become flesh. To actually witness my wife willingly take another man’s cock into her mouth.
Why? Where did this fantasy come from? What were its origins?
The truth is, I’m not sure that I have any clear-cut answers to offer. Having explored a number of resources - not least of which was the Internet - I at least know that my fantasy is far from unique. Cyberspace is littered with the accounts of men with dreams identical to my own. Many of these accounts appear to have been posted for little more than the titillation of the writer, and any readers who happen to chance by. Other accounts are more earnest in their tone; their posters seek answers, to analyse and account for desires which - according to the values of the masses - are at best skewed, at worst perverse.
I’m not a sheep, not a conformist. I believe ‘normal’ can be a dangerously restrictive label. Should we be constantly evaluating what we want against what society says we should want? So long as no single other person suffers as a result of our fantasies or desires, then does it matter what the ‘moral majority’ think? I don’t believe so. But when I finally revealed my fantasy to my wife, one of her first questions was: ‘Why?’ And so here I am, trying to see if I’m able, even equipped, to answer her with a degree of accuracy.
To begin with, I’m aware that (like many others of my gender) I’m a voyeur. It seems logical to conclude that a piece of my fantasy is grounded in the need to be visually stimulated. Am I a masochist as well? Do I want to be blow-torched with envy, to have my ego scorched by the sight of my wife sharing her favours with another man? Not exactly. I certainly don’t crave full-blown jealousy. Who would? It’s an emotion that rips relationships and souls apart. But there is a feeling, something similar, but more subtle and elusive, that perhaps I do yearn for. Two decades ago, I watched a late-night film where, at one point, the hero’s wife was seduced by the villain. She knew it was wrong, loved her husband and didn’t want to hurt him. Yet she gave herself to the villain. And in that moment of her surrender, my teenaged soul experienced a compelling fusion of emotions. I was caught in a dichotomy, wanting her to stop, needing her to carry on. It was an exquisite, exhilarating moment, and a sensation that I only ever came close to experiencing again when I locked into this fantasy. Am I seeking the past? Is a part of me trying to recapture that unique high?
Perhaps I’m a control freak. Do I seek to satisfy some need to exert power by cajoling my wife into performing such an act for my benefit alone? Not at all. In my fantasy, she is always a willing participant, and takes real pleasure from the act. There could be no hope of pleasure for me if it were any other way. Subverting others to my will holds no appeal.
There are those out there - psychologists and behaviourists and their cod-ilk - who might consider my particular desire to mask my need for male-bonding, or - taking things to the extreme - to be some expression of latent homosexuality. If that’s the case, then my need to bond is an unconscious one, and any same-sex yearnings I might have are buried very, very deep. The truth is, the thought of sexual contact with another man makes me feel ill, and so I don’t believe that I’m looking for some covert means through which I might enjoy any such sort of exchange.
But I know that I’m barely scratching the surface here. Doubtless, there are a multitude of reasons - a cacophony of variables and nuances, accumulated since the late 1960s - that have put me on this path. I’ll probably never know for sure what any of them are. The only thing I know with a degree of certitude is that I’m here, and that I’m likely to be here for some time.
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This is a fine fantasy to cultivate; I have done so for years with no lasting psychological scars. I have a simple take on this: I love watching fellatio performed, and I love my wife to wallow in her sexuality. Also, she has shared with me her most common masturbation fantasy of having sex with two men at once; I find this idea arousing, not least of all for what it says about her naughty sexual imagination. The notion of her sucking another man’s cock is the intersection of all these things, and I suspect I will always find the idea hot. I am comfortable enough with the idea that I have already decided to ask that she do this when she innevitable gets around to asking for her long-imagine threesome (she is obviously building me up for a request at some point). So, I will leave it to the psychotherapists to decide if it is veiled homoeroticism or emotional masochism; I don’t need to understand any more than that it is a sexy fantasy.
Eloquently put, especially that last sentence. It’s good to know that I’m not alone in this desire. Good luck to you and your wife in your own adventures.
I too have long been highly aroused of the thought of my own beautiful wife sucking another man’s cock. For me, I think I can identify the source of this fantasy in a vague way. I do find the thought of being cuckolded leaving me with a bitter-sweet feeling, and it’s a similar feeling to those adolecent feelings I had long ago when the girl I liked liked somebody else instead, and I eventually saw her with another boy. I also think the feeling of risk and loss and gamble is quite wickedly seductive and enticing. I find myself asking questions that further my excitement about my wife performing fellatio to completion with another man. Questions like: Does she like him better than me? Is he stealing her away from me? Am I losing her to this stud as she sucks him? Does she notice his cock’s much bigger? Does she notice she’s working much longer and harder on him with her mouth? Does that exite her? Does she notice his ejaculation is much more powerful, explosive and jets farther than mine? Does she notice his copious volume of semen is much greater than mine? Does she like the taste of his semen better? Could she become addicted to his cock/semen? Will she do this again with him? Will I eventually lose her to him? Will she want to do this with other men? Has her experience with another cock in her mouth diminished her thoughts and feelings for me? Are her feelings increasing for the other man as she suck his cock? Are they decreasing for me simultaneously? What is she really thinking and feeling as she’s sucking his cock? Will I ever know until it’s too late? What have I created by allowing this to happen? Do I really want the results of her performing fellatio on this other man? Now that she’s tasted another cock, how much more will she want?
My wife and I have been married ten years, and just recently I’ve introduced the idea to her of her sucking another man, while we’ve been making love. Each time I’ve mentioned it, I have noticed a slight, progressive positive/approving moaning as I’ve fantasized out loud about it. I’m not sure if and when this all emcompassing event will occur, but the thought of it steadily, inevitably, unrelentingly approaching creates an unsettling excitement that very few other things I experience bring.
I have thought the same thing as almost all of these previous messages. All this is exactlly how I feel. But I will take it to the next step. The urges are there. I picture my wife letting a man ejaculate in her mouth and maybe even two men, while I watch. I have no desire for sex with men myself, but the pure fact that it is “naughty” turns me on. But when I orgasim the reality always comes back to me. She sucked another man’s cock. It isn’t so sexy after my orgasim. Even though it was at my request, she had her lips wrapped around another man’s cock. And another man had his way with my wife.
This is all pure fantasy in my head. Me and my wife are opening up all the time. Another fantasy is allowing men and women watch me and my wife make love.
I can almost pinpoint when I started having these feelings… It started after me and my first wife seperated, she left me for another man. The sex was great with her. But when she left and was living with another man and I was all by myself, I tried not to picture her and him together. Where he was having his way with her. But after a while and time healing it almost become a turn on picturing my ex-wife and him together. It became the fantasy in my mind as I masturbated many times to. Also, picturing myself in the room right there while they were doing this.
But back to the main issue. I want to approach my wife about this step by step. First fantasy I want to approach her with is the fact that I want other men to see her nude, like at a nude beach. That I have kind of mentioned to her and she acted like she was willing to do that. I just didn’t admit to the point at how much it really excited me.
I, down the road, would love to mention my fantasy about having another man, with us. But I really am afraid that IF that was to happen, how our trust will be broken and our relationship destroyed (even if we never seperate or divorce). Is there anyone who can explain from experience how they felt the first time or first few times? Love to hear from you in that.
It is me again from the last article. I should mention that my current wife was a virgin when we married. So she knows no other cock other than my own. What if she becomes more attracted to another cock since she has none other at this moment to compare to mine. Love to hear from comments on this and last article I posted.
Given that this end of the blog (i.e. the oldest post of all) gets very little in the way of passing viewers now, you might be waiting a while to get any sort of response. If you want some discourse on this particular subject, one place you might try is The Swingers Board which is an excellent resource covering most subjects, including cuckoldry. Alternatively, you might want to try opening your own blog, where you can raise these issues for discussion. But you’re welcome to discuss the issue here as long as you care to.
Well, I’m still trying to get my wife to suck another man’s cock before August because a friend from Germany will be coming over to share my wife’s delightful body. So far I’ve gotten her to dress sexily and dance with other people in clubs while I watch from afar.
Is this the first time? June 23rd response that your wife will have done this for you with another man? Please let me know your experience afterwards and your feelings for it.. Both during and afterwards. Also “Easily Aroused” what would be your advice for my thinking in the June 20th articles? Those are all mine. Including the “well put” I just wanted to make sure it would work before I got long winded in typing… I await your reply.
I can’t believe there is a discusion on this topic. I am a married man I have been married for 12 years and we both are dedicated to one another,but let me tell you the thought of my wife sucking another mans cock really gets me excited. Most of the time when my wife and I have sex we talk dirty and that seems to always come up, it is great for us, the sex is just getting better. We have actually talked about my wife having sex with another man while I watch and then join in, yes I said join in she really loves the thought (and so do I) about me licking her pussy when a well hung man is fucking her doggie style. I want him to cum in her pussy then she will sit on my face so I can lick her pussy clean. We are so serious about acting this out we are planning a vacation to Las Vegas where she wants to pick up a guy in a club, let him know what we are up to, see if he’s game. We have checked out swinger websites and this is a common way to hook up. My wife also wants to have another mans cock in her pussy while my cock is in her ass. So if any of you guys are in Vegas and a sexy 30 something woman who wants to fuck and suck you while her husband watches and might join in, go for it it will be a night you get your brains fucked out.
My lover, known on my pdt as Donny, completely has this fantasy of watching me suck another man’s, preferably longer and thicker, cock.
I think that his desire does come from the factors you mention–voyeurism, control, and the little visceral spiral of jealousy–but I think too it comes from a desire to show off his toy, ie, me.
And it’s cool and someday perhaps we will make it a reality. In the meantime, I think we’re just going to buy a very large, very realistic, very boilable dildo and play threesome.
For me, this is an especially potent fantasy, not least because of the uncertainty of how - should a man choose to share it with his wife or lover - they will react. It certainly took me a long time to find the nerve to share it with MW.
Whether Donny’s fantasy ever becomes a reality, the good thing is that it’s now something that you can both participate in and take pleasure from. That sounds like the perfect place to be…
~EA
A question for John (if he should happen to return!): I would love to coax my wife to the point where she would fantasize out loud about doing this; how did you get yours to this point?
Over to you, John…
~EA
I too have this same fantasy but unlike the others I at least know when this fantasy took hold of me. You see before we were married my wife and I set out on a series of adventures. We were after the two girls on one guy thing but we ended doing a foursome with another couple. I remember once I gave her the okay, she was the first to pounce, gobbling up this other mans cock with great enthusiasm. That was a real turn-on. When we finally did realize our original fantasy my gal was something less than pleased by the experience. That same night we ended up in a hot tub with a single guy. She asked me if she could suck his cock and I said okay. I am no slouch but this guy was big and I sat there and watched her deep throat him while I masturbated. The look of pure lust in her eyes as she feasted on him and then fucked him, just blew my mind. Since we have been married we have done nothing like this, but during sex it’s one of my favorite memories.
It’s little wonder that it’s a memory you continue to treasure, Don…
~EA
I’m happy to see this great blog has been revived since the site meltdown earlier this week, although it is a shame the string of comments was lost.
This is perhaps my favorite short piece on this subject, and I come back to check in and recharge my batteries every few weeks. I think what makes it so good is that it earnestly ponders the erotic facination with watching a loved wife take another man’s cock into her mouth, without clogging the web with the wretched prose one has to wade through on most fiction or ‘true story’ sites.
I believe there are two versions of this fantasy; one self degrading (i.e., the fetishistic desire to be cuckolded) and the other focused on voyueristic obsession with a loved woman’s sexuality. I wouldn’t want to judge others, but put myself in the second camp and have no real insights on the first.
To be fair, all varients of this fantasy toy with the taboo of infidelity, and so perhaps there is a gray zone, or simple difference in emphasis, between the two versions. However, my version ‘feels’ different from all the buisiness about having your wife’breed’, violated by black men, etc.
In the version I know, the important thing is desire: My wife desires to take another man’s cock (usually a stranger; true, emotional infidelity is a turn-off for me) into her mouth as an expression of her own pent-up sexuality. It is an anonymous cock (perhaps big, so it will look good getting sucked on!) and she wants it for itself.
I’m aware of the psychological theory that Candulism - the official name of this paraphilia - is a form of repressed homosexuality. I am unconcerned by and uninterested in this idea. My sexual fantasies are a source of pleasure, stimulation, reverie and creativity, and don’t harm my life. I don’t find it making me want to have sex with men. Anyway, sexual fantasy is like an artist’s medium-people start with many different materials and what matters is what they do with them.
In my case, I believe the excitement comes from several things. Most simply, watching a beautiful woman passionately suck cock is hot. Period. More complex, and important, is the element of violating taboo.
All of us carry cultural expectations, and one is that a wife must be faithful. And a good wife must be completely faithful. And a good, loved wife must be the most faithful of all. This is a lot to ask of any human; we have an id and it has brute desires.
I know my wife enjoyes physical pleasure, is attracted to men besides me, and likes cock. For her to succumb to these desires would mean unleashing something that is inside her; something tied to the root of her sexual energy, but it would also mean violating the rule that makes her a good wife.
So this taboo is filled with bitter-sweet contradiction: no one wants an uncaring, unfaithful wife; everyone wants a sexually alive and expressive wife. These things are inherently in conflict (although most people are good at holding them in a stable balance).
The most important goal for me is to hear, from her own lips, that for at least one moment of passion she wants to kneel in front of some hot stranger, put his cock her lips, and work it until the cum pours into her mouth. I’ve slowly worked my way towards telling her of this desire (along with others; if this blog were about seeing her fucked blind by a couple of guys I would have written there too!). She only recently understood that she needs to share these and other fantasies with me if we are to really get as close as we can, and seems on board. We’ll see what happens.
When I posted comment #10 the previous 9 comments were not here; obviously this has since been fixed.
My apologies for that, Lars - I certainly wasn’t trying to catch you out. I did post a reply to your latest comment, in which I explained that I still had the comments, but was just getting around to reinserting them into the blog. Unfortunately, my addition to your comment must have exceeded some sort of Wordpress length restriction, and so my addition disappeared.
In answer to your comments… Firstly, thank you for the complements regarding the site. Secondly, I’m pleased and flattered you draw such satisfaction from the site, and particularly from this post. It’s good to know that on a number of levels, not least the fact that I’m not alone in my desires.
Again, I’d like to commend you on the eloquence and succinctness of your comments. To my mind, you cut to the heart of the matter. I echo your particular take: “voyueristic obsession with a loved woman’s sexuality”. That’s an incitful way of explaining how I feel myself. Like you yourself, I don’t find emotional infidelity arousing, I don’t believe I’m a repressed homosexual, and I don’t wish to be humiliated. I just happen to think that seeing my wife so aroused, so alive and aware in her own sexuality, that she desires to take another man’s cock into her mouth and pleasure him is an enormous turn-on.
Of course, I’ve been fortunate enough to see it happen. Once. And for reasons I explained at the time, it wasn’t quite as satisfying as I’d hoped, for no other reason than I was busy pleasuring / being pleasured by another woman at the same time. For men who happen to share our particular appetite, I have a solitary word of caution: try and set up an encounter where you’re able simply to sit, and watch.
As to the lack of posts concerning “seeing (wives) fucked blind by a couple of guys” … keep watching this space, Lars.
~EA
No need to appologize; I think of you as a sort of volunteer on the front lines of my personal battle for erotic freedom. Anyway, I figured the garbled text must have resulted from some sort of digital snafu. I’ve been getting a kick out of reading some of your other archived blogs this evening. You are a tallented and creative fellow. What does your wife think of this blog? Does she know about it? Does she read it? Has she ever commented in it? Would she be willing to? It would provide a fascinating counterpoint to your musings and fantasies.
First off, my apologies for the late reply to your comment, Lars. This one evidently slipped through the net at the time you posted it. A front-line volunteer in the battle for erotic freedom? That’s quite a complement. Thank you indeed. I’m glad you’ve found some of the other posts on Easily Aroused to your liking.
As to your questions…
My wife does know about my journal. She has from the very moment of its inception.
She no longer actively reads it. She did in the beginning, and occasionally she’ll scan over some of the things I’ve written, but on the whole, it doesn’t seem to light any great fires for her. At this point, written erotica - at least, my written erotica - does not seem to hold a great deal of appeal for my wife.
When we’ve taken erotic photographs together, she’s known that my desire has been to add some of them to the journal. She’s never had a problem with that, but like so many other women, she’s bemused that another man or woman will find an image of her clad in lingerie (or even less) attractive or sexually desirable.
She’s never commented on the journal, nor written any of the pieces. I agree that it would be a wonderful counterpoint to my own musings to have her add something, whether it be on a regular or infrequent basis. I’ve offered her full editorial control over anything she wishes to contribute, but to date, she’s not embraced the suggestion. But she understands this is a project I’ve invested much time, effort and soul in, and she respects that. For that I’m grateful.
I hope this addresses your queries.
~EA
Robert Altman’s film, ‘Short Cuts’, contains two wives who step up to or cross the line of extra-marital fellatio—the young wife who contemplates giving a stranger head for $200 and the old one who actually does it because it fits within her definitions of monogamy. Both scenes turn me on (although both characters are complex and sad in their own ways). Anyone else think of this film when reading this blog? Any thoughts as to which, if either, of these characters pushes your candaulist buttons?
I haven’t seen this particular film - though I’m now determined to add it to my viewing list. Is there anyone out there able to comment more knowingly on Lars’ questions?
~EA
I finally got here, EA, and I read all you had to offer.
You know that your name symbolises not merely “Easily Aroused”, but also “arouses others easily”. Your writing has grown and improved since your first post, but only in that you now seem more comfortable in yourself, and in the exploration of the darker and more sensual side of your sexuality.
Or is that merely imagination on my part?
Either way, the quality of your words is always first-rate, and a joy to experience.
I very much enjoy reading all you have, and have had, to offer. You touch a chord in me — something you already knew.
I close with something I could well say under more intimate circumstances… don’t stop… don’t ever stop. Oh god…
Yours
D xxx
I’m sad to see so little action on the ‘Ur’ posting of this site. Any chance you’ll post something new in a similar vein soon?
Lars - what can I say? I tend not to plan what appears here; it’s more a case of ideas appearing and appealing. Never fear though - this is a far from done with subject.
~EA
The comment about psychologists construing the cuckoldry urge as repressed homosexuality needs qualification. This is usually the view of lay people but in fact psychologists who might think that way are simply being lazy and demean their client. (Trust me; I’m a psych!)
Fruedian-type explanations are almost always devoid of any provable empiricisms. ie, they have no evidence. It is much more feasible to consider a whole range of other explanations, and perhaps focus on the nuances of feeling that are found in the confluence of competing drives. Earlier posters have alluded to this quite well. Lazy psychologists who feed off distress, add distress by implying that their client is deficient in some way.
Men are predominantly visually arousable. They are also, generally, generous and want the best sexual experiences for the one they love. Exclusivity is a social construct even though based on biological imperatives. Such imperatives however are decidedly not singular! We have many drives built-in. They do not always fit together precisely. An exquisit tension can be produced.
Recognising one’s own limitations may well be part of the sensory equation, along with say the desire for seeing the object of one’s love in the throes of orgasm - a sight somewhat restricted when one is engaged in that orgasm.
Other senses can be brought in too. Having one’s lover in a different room and hearing her moan with pleasure as another man makes love to her is a tremendous experience for some.
For some, the act of love making is beautiful enough but sometimes not sufficiently physically stimulating. It is accepted theraputic advice to women that they masturbate their clitoris during intercourse if they do not recieve sufficient stimulation from their partner’s penis. This is relatively easy to do, the clitoris being so positioned. But a man who needs to have greater physical stimulation that can be provided by even a well lubricated vagina, cannot easily masturbate whilst inside a vagina, regardless of Germaine Greer’s obnoxious views.
Most fantasy of cuckoldy is accompanied by masturbation. Both during the fantasy experience and as part of the fantasy. The fantasiser fantasises masturbating while his lover is making love to another man. Well, he would, wouldn’t he!
Fantasies speak of our internal being. Sharing them with one’s spouse is wonderful, exciting and scary! Fantasies do not have to be acted out in the real world. Indeed the reality of almost any human activity falls far short of the frisson one can get from exploring the internal world. Best done with someone you love.
Percy, I think you qualify as this site’s first overtly scientific commenter. Thank you for your sage input…
~EA
This has been a breath of fresh air and has to some extent been able to confirm I am not at all weird and alone in my thoughts. I have been married for just 18 months but have been with my very sexy wife for 5 years. I have long let her know that I craved her to be taken by other people and she has not been unresponsive. However this was dashed somewhat in the summer when I suggested that I contact an ex boyfriend to consummate the fantasy so to speak, and my assistance was loudly refused vocally. I thought I was helping when in fact I seemed to ruin the whole delicate possibility. She has now mentioned the possibility once again but only in passing, and while I don’t want us to be parted over the matter I am fighting frustration that we cannot enact what for me is a very real need. I have all the thought processes that are talked about above, from seeing her, hearing her or having her describe in detail her experiences with another persons body joined with hers. I am not sure where I go from here but I shall continue to gently coerce her with the hope that she may one day concede. In desperation I am tempted to arrange a situation although this would seem to introduce a situation of deceit which is not where I want to be. Interested to hear your views, thanks….frustrated
The most incredible thing is that twenty months after this post first introduced my journal to the Internet, it’s still drawing attention and comments.
The most important thing is that the post and the comments it has already drawn have enabled you to realise that you’re neither weird nor alone in your desire. Where your desire leads you now is something else altogether. You seem to be ahead of the game in comparison to many others, in that your wife has already responded positively to your fantasy. Many men with the same fantasy are committed to wives and partners who will not even fantasise about such acts, let alone consider acting upon them.
To my mind, trying to enact your fantasy with the help of one of your wife’s ex-boyfriends is an invitation to trouble, and I’m not surprised that she reacted as negatively as she did. To proceed - and again, this is only in my opinion - you need to isolate emotion from the equation. This is about physical pleasure, and you should seek a partner who is as anonymous as possible, and can be cast from your lives effortlessly the moment you both deem that appropriate.
I would also suggest that coercion is not a route to take, no matter how frustrated you become. The single most important attribute you need to possess when you consider taking any step beyond the bounds of what the masses might term ‘normal’ sexuality is patience. Your wife needs to be able to proceed at her pace, not yours. If you want to see your fantasy become a reality without risking irreparable damage to your relationship, you are going to have to learn to live with your frustration, no matter how bitter it tastes.
Where do you go from here? Down the path marked ‘honesty’. Share your desires and fantasies with her. Explore them together in your love-making. Allow her to become truly excited by the prospect. Construct fantasies together. If you do all that, and let her know that she controls the pace, she’ll let you know when she’s ready to take things to the next level.
I hope that helps a little. Good luck with your fantasy.
~EA
I have read the ‘Origins’ fantasy, and I too share in this fantasy. The thought of my wife with another man excites me to no end, but yet something inside me thinks that I’m just being selfish. I have confessed to my wife that I have this fantasy and she has agreed to do it. I have two issues with it now that she has agreed:
1. Is that I will like it so much that I would want to see it over and over.
2. Is that she may just be doing it for me and won’t like it and think that I’m disappointed. I love my wife so much and I guess watching her with another man I finally get to see what it is like to make love to her, my own real life porn show.
I think the jealousy factor is not there, the other guy is just there as a tool, I’m not concerned with him. I know now I’m a voyeur and I really want the visual stimulation of it all. Thanks guys I’m glad I could vent… Voyeur T
Voyeur T: I can understand your concerns. As to whether you will enjoy seeing your fantasy made real so much that you will want many repeat performances … that’s something that will only become apparent once you’ve experienced it the first time. What you need to keep in mind is that no matter how possessing the fantasy is, the most important thing is the relationship with your wife. Your fantasy should be a spice, something that adds a new, exciting flavour to what you already have. If you genuinely think there’s a danger that it will overwhelm your existing relationship, you need to thing very carefully before proceeding.
As to your concerns about whether your wife is only doing this for you … well, you should have those concerns. If she is only doing it for you, then you shouldn’t allow her to go ahead. She should be doing this for herself, for you, and for your relationship. If she’s merely going to be a marionette to perform your “own real life porn show”, then you should stop her. This should be something for you both, something that excites you both. If it isn’t, then you’re cheapening her, and cheapening yourself. Whether you feel might jealous is irrelevant in comparison to all of that.
~EA
I suggest that voyeur t might do best by not trying to look too far over the horizon. If you yearn for the voyeuristic experience of watching your wife have sex, and she is genuinely interested and willing to try, then you should do it in the simplest way possible (i.e., use a pro and have a couple of drinks!), and assume that you will both need to assimilate and talk about what happened before you will know what comes next.
By the way, Hurray for all the activity here!
I’d agree that taking emotion out of the equation by seeking the assistance of a professional is probably a good place to start…
~EA
Thanks for the advice, my wife has confess to me that she is ready for this and that she has been thinking about it and thinks it will add a whole new level to our relationship.
You’re welcome, Voyeur T - and good luck with your new adventures…
~EA
My wife is extremely attractive and 15 years younger than me. She exudes a total hotness with a beautiful face and lips, great firm tits and a beautiful ass. Every guy wants to fuck her and many of them do. We recently got back together after separating for 3 years. So far she has not given me a blowjob to completion. In fact over 10 years she has only swallowed my cum a few times although we have pretty good sex in general.
With the other guys though she preferred to suck their dicks and she always let them cum in her mouth and swallowed. She got off from doing this and the guys did too. There is something about other guys, who she barely knows, that turns her on. She also gets off on being used by other men and she will describe for me how she “licked their balls, sucked their dicks, let them cum in her mouth and swallowed their cum”!
Before we separated she began “dating” other men. In the begining she would tell me she was going out with a gay male friend. She has no female friends only gay friends so she thought I would not suspect. But I could hear here talking on the phone to this one guy and I could tell by the tone of her voice and what she was saying that she was interested in him. He started calling here a lot and they were getting together a few nights a week. I thought he was a real asshole. He was a manager at one of her stores (she is a sales rep) so she would ocassionally entertain her managers.
In this case his entertainment consisted of unbelievable blowjobs. She would go to his store every day and give him blowjobs in his office. And not just any blowjobs. These were the lick the balls clean type and she always let him cum in her mouth.
He would take her to his house and face fuck her and use her mouth in any way he wanted. Everybody in the store, including the guy’s girlfriend who worked there, knew he was banging her and using her. They also knew she was married.
After about a month of this, I found out because I knew a girl who worked at the store (how embarrassing is that) and also because I saw some e-mails and heard some voice mails where he described stuff she did to him and what a “hottie” she is.
This made me feel pretty bad because a guy, who I thought was an asshole, had turned my beautiful hot wife into his own personal cocksucker. And she was getting off on being his personal slut and blowjob maven.
I used to find her thongs lying around the house and I noticed that they were always heavily stained from her pussy juices. This is because she frequently gave him blowjobs either dressed or partially dressed so she would be wearing her thongs. He was also fucking her brains out but the thing that I most dwelled on was that she was sucking his cock and that he was having the time of his life with my beautiful wife no strings attached!
My wife and I are currently in therapy but I find that we can rarely discuss any real issues realting to the fact that she far prefers to suck other mens cocks. With the other men, they are definitely getting a dynamite blowjob, no strings attached, and no questions asked. They get to use her and make a pig out of her. What they do to her is the fantasy I have to do to other girls. But they get to do it in real time with my wife who becomes their willing fucktoy.
There is an embarrassing part in that sometimes I either know or knew some of the guys and the guys get off on that too.
Her first boyfriend from the store used to throw parties at his house with a few guys and sometimes a few girls to watch as my wife would suck every guy’s dick to completion. Needless to say, the girls were very amused as were the guys and they laughed their asses off!
I have had a strong interest for a year or more in the fantasy of watching my wife have sex with another man, and I am intrigued to understand why. None of the reasons above seem quite to hit the nub of the situation with me. I think it has something to do with surrendering power. Usually my fantasy of this has me tied up and only able to watch (but with a hand free to masturbate!). Also, a smaller part of the equation is being complimented that other men think your wife is desirable, and she is mine. If anyone has a reference to a scientific article or book explaining this, I would like to hear about it.
There seems to be an element of cuckoldry to your fantasy, Joel. Have you tried a general Google-type search on that term? Also, you’ll see above that Percy has added some more of his thoughts on the subject matter…
~EA
Me again. Many here try to find reasons for their desires, and that is quite normal of course. The reasons may well be varied. Two things strike me about the discussion though and I will give a view of them if I may.
The first is the attempt to be ‘clinical’ and trying to keep it entirely in the physical realm. A comment was to keep the emotion out of it. This is not only not possible but probably the wrong way around. The feeling is the thing, whatever it is; submission, fear, inadequacy, competition, delight, sharing, seeing, whatever.
The second is the turning of fantasy into reality. Intense difficulties arise when the deep feeling becomes the full physical expression with a third party. That’s where relationships break up. Frankly in my prof experience it is better to keep the fantasy as a shared experience with one’s spouse and no other. Pretend if you will. Role play too. Tease with it. But once you introduce a third party, you are no longer able to experience the same feeling that turns you on in the first place. And the loss of a loving, trusted partner can be devastating.
What goes on inside us is real enough. It is the only real. It is a window that allows a trusted and loving spouse - and ourselves - to know the deep recesses of our soul. The sensations, emotional or physical are means by which we discover the landscapes of our souls. This is the most important issue. Knowing who we are rather than simply what we can do. Your spouse needs to be involved fully at that level.
It might be an idea to look thoroughly at yourself before you need a therapist to do it for you. There are very few tools for this but some might like to try the only really good one I found on the net at http://www.lovability.org
Happy New Year!
My wife and I went to a very interesting couples party in Manhattan with 8 attractive couples ranging in age from mid 20’s to mid 40’s.
My wife clad in spiked heels and a black thong only gave each male guest a mind blowing blowjob to completion in front of the female wives or girlfriends.
A lovely time was had by all!
It sounds very much as though you both hit the jackpot, Michael. Congratulations - and a Happy New Year to you also…
~EA
Thank you EA
I can assure you that while it was fun for me and “loads” of fun for her it was the other men who “hit the jackpot”! LOL
And she looked just lovely with their dicks in her mouth….
I bet she did, Michael…
~EA
It seems there are many of us here who think alike. I beat myself up for having these thoughts because my wife has no interest in the activity. It does not keep the fantasy at bay though. At least she does not mind the Candaulism that is present also.
No reason for you to beat yourself up for not keeping the fantasy at bay, Doug. If it’s there, then it’s a part of you. You don’t deny the colour of your hair or your eyes. Why should you deny your desires, even if you don’t think that they’re going to lead anywhere in the real world…
~EA
Thanks for the kind words. The only reason that I can think of for denying the desire is that it is easier to just show off pictures and try hard not to think about the rest. If I think about all of the other stuff that I want to do, then it seems to make it more important than maybe it really is. How did things turn out for you now after this much time has gone by?
To find out about the first time this fantasy was fulfilled, you need to read these posts, Doug:
Sixth Steps (part one)
Sixth Steps (part two)
To find out about a subsequent encounter, read this:
The Fires
Those posts ought to clear things up a little…
~EA
For couples (or even one of a couple) to explore this reality- dangerous but emotionally exciting idea, be it simple third party fellatio or full cuckoldry, I suggest that writing is a good means.
One, alone, could write their fantasy and explore the various aspects of feeling, action and scenario. But it can be better if two do it. Each could add their perspectives; even correct grammar; or perhaps better, they could help the other delve into their psyches by developing the scene, the reactions the sensations etc.
It is a loving act to so accept every aspect of one’s partner such that nothing shocks or angers, but the real person is known and appreciated.
By the way, why stop at fellatio? Where does cunnilingus come in all this?
All valid points and good suggestions, Percy. As for where cunnilingus comes in all of this … well, the focus of the post was about wanting to see my wife take another man’s cock in her mouth. That was a much greater step for both of us than her going down on another woman. That was achieved relatively painlessly…
~EA
EA and everyone else. Man this is unreal and I think important. I have always had that little sharing thing in the back of my mind but it was just a little thing.Then suddenly about 10 years ago it turned into a really big deal. Something that I reaaly wanted to do and I even started obsessing about it. Especially since my wife wanted nothing to do with it. It was in my thoughts all of the time. Then, I recently changed my medication for restless leg syndrome. I was taking Carbo Dopa Levo. After about 2 weeks I started noticing that the frustration and obsession was going away. Now, 5 weeks later, it is back to the old little thing in the back of my mind. Man what a relief. I have heard that the medication I was taking could cause obsessive compulsive behaviour but I never thought that I had anything like that especially sexually. I would suggest that anyone feeling like I did look into their meds. It is possible that it could change their lives.
Thanks for the input, Doug…
~EA
“The most incredible thing is that twenty months after this post first introduced my journal to the Internet, it’s still drawing attention and comments.”
You can add more months :D.
Good post and comments here
*thumb up and nod in silent agreement*
Yes, it’s now almost 2 1/2 years since this post first went on-line. It’s good to know that it’s still generating interest though, Oscar…
~EA
This post is still popular because it touches on a an issue that is a very important part of the sexual fantasy lives of a very large number of men, and does so in a way that avoids the crassness and demeaning racism typical of most professional porn sites on the subject.
What I want to know is, when are you going to devote your considerable creative talents to re-infusing this thread with a new thoughtful post?
That’s not a particularly easy question for me to answer, Lars, and there are a couple of reasons why. For one, the whole focus of this journal / blog has changed dramatically in the 2 1/2 years since I posted this piece. For two, when I wrote ‘The Origins of Fantasy’, I had a burning itch that just wouldn’t leave me alone. Thing is, that itch has been scratched: I’ve seen my wife taking another man’s cock into her mouth, on more than one occasion as it happens. And while there remains an impetus behind my desire to witness such things, I have to confess that some of the potency has been drawn off because I’ve been fortunate enough to see the fantasy become reality.
A while back, I was toying with the idea of starting up some sort of parallel blog, something that would focus on the phenomenon of men who found arousal in either the fantasy or the reality of seeing their wives or significant others pleasuring other men. Rather than relying on one person to produce the material - which frankly, I wouldn’t have had the time for (I’m not the most prolific of authors with only the one blog to service!) - my concept was that the contributions would come from the readers themselves. It would be self-regulating. I even created a masthead for the site.
In the end, I dropped the idea. It would need a strong core to hold it together, and I knew I didn’t have the time to dedicate to it. And it would need a strong core, because otherwise, it would inevitably flounder. And I would really have hated to get something like that started, only to see it decay through neglect or abuse. But I still believe there’s a ‘market’ out there for a blog with that sort of focus. Sound like a worthy challenge to anyone?
Anyway, I’m sure that I’ll write pieces that touch on this subject again, Lars. What I’m not sure about is when that will be…
~EA
I decided a while back that the fantasy was just not enough. Since my wife has no inclination towards making my fantasies a real life adventure, she suggested that I write them out with the idea that it may help me understand them. I have written many stories and truthfully it only fuelled the fires. I would be happy to post them here if anyone was interested in reading them.
Doug, if you do want to post your stories for others to read and enjoy, I’d suggest that you set up your own blog (as I’ve suggested here previously, a blog themed to this particular subject does seem to have considerable potential). However, EA is a showcase for my work alone so I’m going to have to nix your suggestion to post the stories here….
~EA
EA, I understand now. I am new to the whole blog thing and frankly, I get lost in here anyway. I didn’t mean to intrude and thanks for pointing it out for me. I will see if I can figure this all out as I move forward with this. Thanks.
You’re not intruding, Doug. But this is just one post of many, and it’s one with a theme that’s struck a chord with you and many others. My advice remains: if you want to concentrate on this particular subject, head on over to http://sensualwriter.com/adultblog.php and sign up for a free blog. It’s all pretty straight forward, and before you know it, you’ll be able to post your thoughts and stories to your heart’s content.
Best of luck.
~EA
Great!!! I spent hours yesterday looking for a site to post a blog but when I read the terms and conditions there was always soemthing about explicit language. Thanks EA. Looks like you read my mind.
Glad to have been of help, Doug…
~EA
IN reading the above comments, it’s re-assuring that the desire to watch or observe ones’ significant other entertain other men sexually is more common than the majority of men would be willing or honest enough, to admit. Yes, certainly there will be the nay sayers that just can’t understand the perspective of the voyeur but I believe that they are men that are very jealous by nature or those that are very insecure within their relationships. No true voyeur can have either of these negative traits. After all, without deep trust and faith the act wouldn’t be the least bit desirable. Such is the case for the nay sayer. To them it’s immoral and repulsive. I truelly feel sorry for them because they know not of what they miss. I too, like most others here, am a voyeur and have had the pleasure of being one for the better part of 38 years now. The initial posting put forth the questionWhy does the thought of my wife sucking another man’s cock arouse me so? I surmise that the author hoped that any replies would follow that theme, however, it seems that once the can of worms was opened up, all sorts of salacious thoughts wriggled out. I’m truelly glad that they did because it helps me to understand myself. I should say Thank You now, before I get carried away in thought and forget to show my appreciation. I look forward to sharing more of my thoughts in the future. DW
Thank you for the thoughtful contribution, DW…
~EA
I’ve been reading through all of your work since I happened on your site …. I find this one of the most interesting, not least because there have only been 2 female posts…. maybe Percy can explain why?
I find the idea of giving myself to another man at the request/urging of my lover deeply arousing … it is perhaps the ultimate expression of trust and would be a form of gift to him ….. so far we have only fantasised about this but reading these posts has made me realise how much I want to try this out for real ….
Sensuelle - you sound like a wonderfully open minded and giving partner. We should all strive to be this way! You should tell your partner about your reaction to this posting - I’m sure he’ll experience a frisson of excitement
Thank you Lars! I hope that you and your wife got to experience this scenario - and if so that it was all you wanted/expected it to be?
EA … I see from a recent post that people keep finding this site and exploring it - and that this post still excites interest….. I wonder if you have thought about setting up a ‘forum’?
Apologies to all for the superfluous exclamation mark - please put it down to a momentary lapse of concentration …..
Happens to me all the time, Sensuelle…
~EA
(My apologies for my English - it’s not my mothertongue)
It’s not surprising that many men have more or less the same fantasies - the astounding thing is that we hold exactly the same fantasies and we can even follow exactly the same mental processes when trying to make those fantasies come true. For example, the strategy of the anonymous at #7 is exactly the one I’ve been hesitanting about for months.
It’s a wonderful post in a wonderful blog. I’ll keep connected. Thanks.